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If nothing changes, nothing changes

 

You’ve heard this before. Yet most of us continue to go about all we do in the same way we’ve always done it and wonder why there’s no improvement.

I get it. Old habits are hard to break. You can’t miraculously get a different result with an old way of doing things.

It’s like trying to grow a new seedling in a pot of infertile soil. Or relying on a fancy new set of golf clubs to turn you into a golfing pro when the real problem is your incorrect swing.

A friend of mine has a Mum called Grace. She is a kind, giving, big-hearted woman who would do anything for anyone. But when it comes to managing money, Grace is admittedly atrocious. Money and Grace are not good mates and never have been.

No matter how much support and advice her family has provided over the years, money goes out as fast as it comes in. Grace’s poor spending habits have never changed. At age 85 and on the age pension, they probably never will.

One day, Grace’s daughters (she has three gorgeous daughters and five young grandkids) decided to shout their Mum a weekend escape. They chose a beautiful winery in the Hunter Valley, fully inclusive of massages, meals, and entertainment. It was a treat to spoil their Mum and show their love and appreciation for all she does for the family. Grace was forever taking care of others and always putting their needs ahead of her own.

Grace was overjoyed and accepted this gift with delight. She got to indulge all weekend in sampling fine wines, savouring delicious foods, pampering her body, and all without having to fork out a cent.

After a hearty egg and bacon breakfast on the Sunday morning, Grace strolled around the surrounding area. She stumbled on a quaint little gift shop with knick-knacks, handmade goodies, and produce grown by the locals. Excitedly she bought each of her daughters and her grandkids (all 8 of them) a small souvenir. After all, the weekend didn’t cost her anything, and the gifts weren’t expensive at $20 – $30 each. It warmed her heart, and she felt special knowing she could spoil her family and show her appreciation for the great weekend away.

When Grace returned from the trip and gave her daughters (and grandkids) the gifts, they were less than impressed. Grace had spent nearly a quarter of her fortnightly pension on these token items, money she didn’t have to spare. Her daughters had wanted to spoil their Mum without her dipping into her kitty.

But Grace couldn’t help herself. It’s all she knew. It was how she related to money and always had. No amount of telling her off or pointing out the practical was going to change that. Never. They’d tried before to no avail. And they had tried again without success.

This event made her daughters realise that giving money to someone who doesn’t know how to manage it is not the solution. The only way Grace would change how poorly she managed money was by changing the deeply ingrained patterns and behaviours she had formed since she was young.

Grace would have to want to make the changes if they were to stick, and she had no intention of it. She was ok with how things were. It was her daughters that had a problem with it. They would now have to find more creative ways to support their Mum rather than try change her lifelong spending habits.

For anyone who does want a different result from what you’ve been getting, it’s worth exploring the patterns, behaviours, beliefs, or habits that may need changing first. What are the foundations, barriers, and stories you’ve been telling yourself that need shifting before you can make headway for real change?

The person who believes they are not a morning person will always struggle with 5am starts. If you think ‘being late’ is who you are, you’ll rarely be the first to arrive. Reading one book on productivity probably won’t budge a self-proclaimed procrastinator. And if like Grace, you believe you’re not good with money, you’re probably not the next Warren Buffet (yet).

The good news is, it’s never too late. You have the power to change, if you want. It requires more effort than just setting a ‘new year’s resolution’ or adopting a daily mantra.

If you want things to be different or results to improve, you need to explore what’s causing the problem in the first place. Addressing it may require a mindset shift, a new story about what’s possible or debunking an un-useful limiting belief. It may be a new framework you need, a different structure, more support, or additional resources.

Whatever it is, if you’re prepared to find out what’s in your way first, then put in the time and effort to sort it out, you can change anything!

Let me ask: What changes do you need to get more out of your business or life?

Because after all, you are Valuable!

Cheers, Kim

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